


Second Opinion

by roxyeisen



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 08:58:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13900665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxyeisen/pseuds/roxyeisen
Summary: Happens in present time. Based on the tiny little clip from the Season 11 preview of Mulder and Scully in the church together. Mulder and Scully get counseling to figure out what comes next for their relationship. This story is born mainly from my frustration at these two NEVER TALKING THINGS OUT! So I helped them.





	Second Opinion

Scully glanced at Mulder over her computer. He was at his bulletin board, talking softly to himself. Making his brilliant connections. He hadn’t said anything to her, but she suspected he was tracking William. She loved him for it. Nothing would feel right until they found their son.

She wondered if she should bring up the matter of their living arrangements. He hadn’t asked her to come home, but he had jokingly given her a hard time when it was time to go to her house at night. Honestly, she had no idea what he was thinking. She was uncomfortable with the idea of them being partners and friends … with benefits. Maybe she should have been stronger when they shared the motel room. But she couldn’t deny she missed him in that way. That had never been an issue in the decade they lived together. Ever. He was imaginative and playful, sometimes surprising her when she got home from work. Whoever got the other one down and in handcuffs first won. She hadn’t let him forget how often she won.

Hopefully he hadn’t let her win. She frowned at his back.

“I saw that.”

She breathed a laugh, not surprised. He turned around. “What’s up? Did I miss something?”

“I was just remembering something about when we were together,” she admitted, not meeting his eyes in case he got uncomfortable. 

“Uh-oh,” he leaned against the bulletin board. “I’m not sure I want to know.”

She smiled. “It was a good memory.”

“Good.”

She looked at her paperwork and tried to keep her voice even. “I’m leaving my smart house. I got a settlement because of the whole blowing up problem.”

He was quiet. She stole a glance, wondering if she might be able to figure out what he was thinking by looking him in the eyes.

“Okay.”

“Mulder!” She leaned back and tossed her pen on the desk. “Help me out here! What should I do? Get a new house? Move to a different city? Quit the FBI and become a spokesperson for the ab roller?”

He chewed his lip and crossed his arms across his chest. “What do you want to do, Scully?”

She couldn’t answer that. She couldn’t always be the one who made decisions for their relationship. If they were going to get back together, it needed to be his choice this time. His effort. She shook her head and looked down at her hands, which she twisted in her lap.

He didn’t speak for a while. “I’m getting the impression you want me to say something, Scully, but I’m not sure what it is I should say.”

“How about you just tell me how you feel about us these days? Are you content the way things are? Do we have anything unsettled we need to address?”

She knew it wasn’t exactly a fair question. Mulder didn’t talk about this stuff easily. But if he didn’t want her back bad enough to talk to her, then maybe they shouldn’t try it again.

“I like us being partners again. Working cases. It feels a little bit like it used to.”

“That’s it? You’re content with our partnership?” She tried to sound nonchalant, as if it didn’t make a difference to her one way or the other. “Because at that motel, you wanted more.”

He shuffled his feet. “Yeah, I did. I got the impression that was mutual, though.”

She nodded. “It was. But you know me, Mulder. I’m not exactly the friends with benefits kind of girl.”

He shifted again. “No, you’re not. And I shouldn’t expect you to be. I guess I’m not really that kind of guy either.”

“Listen to us,” she said with a smile. “Talking like we’re young. Isn’t this a conversation for people in their twenties?”

He smiled at the floor for a long moment. “So what do you want to do?”

She sighed. Got up and went to him. Took his hands in hers. “I just want you to tell me what you want, Fox. That’s really all I’m after. All I was ever after. I want you to be happy, and if that happiness can include me, I want to be with you. However you need me to be.”

He held a hand to her hair. Pushed it behind her ear. His palm rested against her cheek. “Scully, I don’t want to live without you. I’ll take you in any way I can get you. I guess … I’d like less space between us. I’d like us to be together. But I know there are reasons we aren’t.”

Scully considered him. “It was a rough time. I … I thought I was being strong when I left you. But maybe I just gave up on you at your worst moment. If I did, I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “I never blamed you for leaving. I was a mess. And I wouldn’t listen to your advice. Wouldn’t go to counseling. Wouldn’t take the meds. Wouldn’t do anything you wanted me to do so I could get better. You did what you had to. You were strong – stronger than me.”

She went into his open arms and accepted his hug. “So what now?”

“Did you have anyone in mind for that counseling? Are they still around?” His words surprised her.

She leaned back and looked at him. “Are you serious?”

He nodded slowly. “Look, Dana, I know we don’t talk about the things we need to. I’ve always been bad at communication, especially when it involves feelings. Maybe if someone helped us talk to each other, we could figure out what we need to do next.”

She considered the FBI psychologist, but it would probably be someone younger than them and Mulder wouldn’t respect anything they said. He needed someone his age. His gender. “The guy who became priest at my parish last year was married for 30 years before his wife died from cancer. He’s a wise man. He always asks how our cases are going. Would you maybe want to talk to him with me?”

She half expected him to decline. And for a moment, she saw his reticence in his expression. But suddenly, he nodded. “Set it up.”

 

_The next week ___

__As they waited for the priest, Scully went to the altar with candles. She lit candles for all of their relatives they had lost._ _

__“We’re no strangers to grief, are we?” she mused as Mulder came and stood next to her, his hands in his pockets._ _

__“That we’re not.”_ _

__“We have no one else to lose, except the one that matters the most.” She stared up at the stained glass picture of Jesus with the children._ _

__“There are two of you I’d rather not lose,” Mulder said quietly. She smiled at him and nodded her agreement._ _

__“I’ve always wondered … how this all would end,” he admitted, watching her._ _

__“What? The conspiracy? Aliens?” She watched him curiously._ _

__“No,” he said, looking at the candles. “Us.”_ _

__She was surprised by his admission. “I didn’t know you thought about that, Mulder.”_ _

__He shrugged. “Just because I don’t talk about it doesn’t mean I’m not thinking about it.”_ _

__They watched each other for a long moment. Then she reached for him, lifting her lips to kiss his. He kissed her back, his arm going around her. They stood in that embrace until a door opened behind them._ _

__“Fox? Dana?” The priest came out of his door and ushered them into the office. “Please come in.”_ _

__He didn’t waste any time. When they were all seated, he folded his hands and rested them on the desk. “Dana has filled me in on your history. You were partners for seven years. You had a son together. You lived together for thirteen years after that, but decided to separate until two years ago, when you once again became colleagues. Fox, Dana tells me that this meeting was your idea. I’d like to get your thoughts on what you hope to accomplish here today.”_ _

__Mulder gave her a slight unappreciative glance, but he smiled. “I guess I’d like to settle what we are to each other, and what we’ll be for the rest of our lives.”_ _

__“We won’t have the FBI forever,” Dana said, her eyes on her partner. “Neither of us are as young as we were once.”_ _

__“So have you discussed this?”_ _

__Scully looked at Mulder. “Father, I have to be honest with you. We have always had a hard time talking about personal things.”_ _

__“Why do you think that is?” he asked patiently._ _

__“I’ve wondered about that,” Mulder spoke, resting his chin on his arm. “I think it’s mostly my fault. I got into the habit early on of never wanting anything to come between us. So somehow I got it into my head that the only way to protect our friendship and partnership was to avoid getting sentimental or involved. To stay close by keeping our distance.”_ _

__“But you did get involved.”_ _

__Mulder nodded. “It was like we’d been holding back a dam for years. Scully would try to hint at it. Ask me about it. We both knew there was something between us that we couldn’t ignore forever, but I wished we could, because to me, getting romantically involved with someone means eventually you go your separate ways. That’s how it worked in my family. But once in a while I’d get scared she was going to leave and then I’d do something to try to get her back. But I guess she was never able to get a straight answer out of me until she asked me one question.”_ _

__Scully eyed him curiously, wondering what he was going to say._ _

__“You asked me to be the father of your child. I know you didn’t mean it in a romantic way, necessarily, but that was the ultimatum I’d been dreading and anticipating all at the same time.”_ _

__“Why did you see that as an ultimatum?” the priest asked. His hands were still folded on the desk. A calm smile barely pulled at the edges of his mouth._ _

__“Scully wasn’t looking far enough ahead to picture it – she could only see that she would have the child she’d been longing for, but that her association with me and my work had stolen from her. I was afraid us having a baby would threaten the greater bond we shared. We wouldn’t just be joined by work anymore, we’d be connected by blood. I guess in a weird way, I thought our lives would become the same as everyone else’s, and we would end up hating each other.”_ _

__“I remember you were concerned it would come between us,” Scully said, reaching to touch his arm. “I was surprised you said yes.”_ _

__He nodded. “I said yes because I wanted you to be happy. I guess part of me felt like I owed you that. It was my fault it had been taken from you. I really, really wanted you to have that. I’m not a praying man, but that is the one thing in this life I have been humbled and powerless enough to pray about.”_ _

__Tears glistened in her eyes. “And God sent us a miracle.”_ _

__“Your son was born from in vitro fertilization, then?” The priest nodded._ _

__“No. It didn’t work.” Scully looked at Mulder. “And in trying to comfort me that night, Mulder gave me the best gift of my life.”_ _

__“A miracle.” The priest smiled knowingly. “I’m happy for you. Where is your child now?”_ _

__Scully’s face fell. “Father, I don’t know how to easily explain this, but our son was born with … special abilities. In fact, there were those that wanted to take him. Some that even wanted to kill him, sure that he would grow up to ruin their plans. I gave our son up for adoption when he wasn’t even a year old.”_ _

__“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” The priest’s voice was indeed sympathetic._ _

__“We think we may have found him,” she added. “But we haven’t been able to speak to him face to face yet. I’m hoping soon.”_ _

__“I pray you will.”_ _

__There was a pause, and then the priest cleared his throat as a matter of segue. “I’m picking up on a couple things I’d like to get your opinions on,” he said. “I hear what you are saying, that you have a long history of deep and lasting care for one another. But ironically, you both struggle to express these emotions. You stay together out of a sense of faithfulness that is too rare in our world. You both know that love is a choice. You know love is hard. But you also know love is worth the cost.”_ _

__They both nodded. Scully’s hand went in search of Mulder’s and they held fast to each other._ _

__“You already have the most important elements of any lifelong, successful relationship. You remind me very much of my late wife and me. What you’re missing is simply a conversation with each other, where you tell the other person what you need in order to continue on. You must be completely honest. I want you to first to tell each other your fears that led to your separation. It is important to dig up that fallow ground before you can plant something new. Then I want you to swallow your pride and tell each other what you need in order to stay together for the remainder of your lives. Since that is what I can see you both want.”_ _

__Scully and Mulder were both quiet for an awkward moment. She glanced at him quickly, her cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment. “Should we do that now?”  
He considered them. “Normally, I would tell you to go on a nice date together and work these details out. But I can see even the thought of being this open with each other is stressful to both of you. If you would rather stay so I can prompt you if needed, I’m willing. I will only jump in if you need me.”_ _

__Scully looked at Mulder, this time with an unspoken question he seemed to hear. He nodded. “Let’s do it. Ladies first?”_ _

__She smiled and gave him a forbearing stare. “Fine. I’ll get it over with.” She took a deep breath, inhaled, and turned to face him. Her grip on his hand tightened. “This is hard for me, because I’ve always tried to appear strong to you. I wanted to live up to the woman you have always believed me to be. I didn’t want you to think I was weak or unable to get the job done.”_ _

__“I never did,” he said in mild surprise._ _

__“Don’t interrupt,” she said, narrowing her eyes in mock irritation. He chuckled and motioned for her to continue._ _

__“So I got into the habit early on of hiding my fears from you. And it helped, in a way. I felt less afraid when I didn’t admit to them. But it didn’t make them go away. What I was afraid of changed over the years. I suppose what we’re referring to now is the fear that made me walk away from our home and our life together four years ago.”_ _

__Mulder nodded his encouragement. “Lay it on me.”_ _

__“I was afraid that you were sinking further and further into a hole that you wouldn’t come back out of. I was terrified that you would become so disassociated from the world that you would lose your mind. It scared me that you wouldn’t see a counselor or take medication to come out of your depression. And I was afraid I’d be caught up in the madness and we’d go crazy together, separated from the world and from reality. Mulder, when we were partners, I could always escape the nature of our work and go home. I could be normal. I could read a book or call my mom or take a weekend trip or lounge in the bath. I had something to escape to. But when we lived together, I didn’t have that. My home was your home. You were always there. I could take a walk or go in the other room, but I still felt your spirit hovering. In a sense, I loved that. But it also left me no space to decompress. I guess after years of living like that, especially with such an intense and stressful job at the hospital, I was stretched too thin.”_ _

__Her voice faltered and she looked down, unsure of what else to say. He squeezed her hand and nodded, his eyes misty. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Scully. When you put it like that, it makes so much sense.”_ _

__She met his eyes, surprised at his reaction. She smiled through tears._ _

__“And what would you like to see happen now, Dana?” The priest prompted quietly._ _

__“I … I guess I’d like for us to have more of a … name for our relationship? Everything is always so up in the air. We never made any promises. I guess what I need before I can have the courage to go back to that place is a few basic promises.”_ _

__“Well said,” the priest said._ _

__Mulder glanced at him. “I think I see what you’re saying.”_ _

__“Fox, why don’t you tell Dana your perspective now.”_ _

__Mulder stared at their joined hands for a long time before he met her eyes. “I’m willing to admit that there have been times in my life when my mental health was balanced precariously on the precipice. I’m not in that place anymore, but I remember what it was like to have the demons following me closely. What was I afraid of? I’m not sure I’d use that word. For me, the problem was shame. I was ashamed of everything I’d done to you. I felt a constant guilt that I’d ruined your life so many times and in so many ways that I didn’t deserve your love. I didn’t deserve to ask you for any promises. I took what care you offered because I needed it, like oxygen. I have always needed your friendship, your wisdom. But I was afraid to ask you for any more than that. I have always known you deserve much more, Dana. I’m the one that struck it rich in this deal.”_ _

__“Oh, Mulder,” she breathed, a tear breaking free and traveling down her cheek. He reached his thumb to wipe it away. “Mulder, I never saw it that way. I always had a choice, and I chose you.”_ _

__He nodded. “I see that now. Age brings the benefit of clarity.”_ _

__“And what, specifically, do you think needs to happen now, Fox?” The priest folded his hands on the desk._ _

__“I think we need to get married.” Mulder smiled at her, that lopsided, boyish smile that made her insides turn to mush, even after twenty-five years. “I think it’s way past time.”_ _

__She couldn’t speak, but she nodded._ _

__“Well, fortunately, that is the easiest part,” the priest said, standing. “And I’d be happy to help you accomplish it whenever you are ready.”_ _

__“Now?” Mulder shrugged, meeting Scully’s eyes._ _

__“Now’s good for me.” She looked at the priest._ _

__“You don’t have any family or friends that might want you to have a wedding?” he asked._ _

__“We haven’t found our son yet. The only other friend we could call is our boss. He could probably be here in twenty minutes.”_ _


End file.
